Sir Thomas Crapper

2006-06-13T19:15:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting on Sir Thomas Crapper's invention dropping my waste into the water below and I am thinking what a primitive messy stinky way to get rid of our waste products. How could an intelligent God have created such a messy way to offload those particles of food that apparently have no nutrient value.

And all animals are created equal. They all crap just like we do. Even the lowly amoeba, the single cell animal we studied in Biology 101. You would think that an intelligent God could have come up with a more intelligent solution. Was God a dummy? Did he write How To Be God for Dummies? Or was it How to be a Duumy for God?

So I'm sitting on Sir Thomas Crapper's throne, not having flushed yet and I think about how I would have designed things if I was God. Will this get me excommincated or damned to eternal brimfire and burning in the depths of hell? Maybe God wil hit me with a bolt of lightning or was that Zeus?

Anyway, I am sitting and defecating and I think that all us animals have been given the short end of the stick and had it shoved up where the sun don't shine. There must be a better way to get our energy than eating. And eating, what a mess. We have to eat to stay alive, right. But why do we have to eat dead animals. I know other animals in the kingdom of animals eat other animals to survive, but this is really gross, disgusting, and as far as I am concerned, unnecessary.

But that is how we were supposedly intelligently designed. This is intelligence? Feasting on our brother animals? How intelligentis that? This is chaos. This is abysmal. This is not very logical, not even intelligent.

We must eat to get energy. Food gives us energy. Keeps our biological machine running and so every day we must eat to survive. What a joke. East, digest, defecate. Repeat. An endles disgusting loop. We are supposed to be on a higher plane. No shit. That's a higher plane.

What if God was a perpetual motion machine. A machine that runs forever producing energy from an unknown source. Since the machine goes on forever and never stops producing energy, why didn't God hook us up to that perpetual motion machine that would supply us with all the energy we could use. Maybe part of our brain could be a receiver and whenever we needed some energy, Gods sends us a bolt of lightning and it charges us up, like Dr. Frankenstein's android.

This would eliminate elimination. What a boon. Think of the time we would save by eliminating all that time in the crapper.

And we would save even more time because we would no longer have to eat. We could throw out thousands of cookbooks - down the crapper they would go.

Sadly, we would put all the chefs and cooks out of work. And the huge food distribution machine would go bye-bye, putting even more people out of work.

Would this cause the greatest depression in the history of the world?

No, because people wouldn't have to work to earn money to buy food. We could all sit back and let our passions take us to whatever turned us on.

Paradise is never having to eat another animal or plant to survive.

My First Web Site

2006-03-20T22:08:00.000-08:00

I have created a web site. The title may raise some eyebrows, but there is no pornography. Never will be.

It's called Aphrodisiacs-for-all.

Follow this link, please.

There are some dangerous substances out there that can kill. My site will talk about them as well as the ones that are harmless. Some are uselss. But, like taking a placebo, if you think they work, they will work.

The site is more into love, secret trysts, and romance.

Sort of like Desparate Housewives. None of them need any help from aphrodisiacs, though.

Aphrodisiacs can be fun.

Many foods are considered aphrosdisiacs.

Grow them in your garden. These garden varieties are good for you too.

They can crank up your flagging libido.

Why is it so hard to get RSS on a website?

Sir Thomas Crapper

My First Web Site